The Line and the Dot

 

 

THE LINE AND THE DOT

 

“True life is to be found on the other side of the law.” 
Nicolai Berdyaev

 

 

Once upon a time, there was a line. An ordinary line that stretched as far as the eyes could see to the left and to the right. The line curved with the terrain, but it was just another line amongst many. Nothing special.

 

And on that line, there were dots. Lots of dots. Dots of various sizes. Some very small, others quite large, and many that were just average, ordinary, run of the mill dots. The dots seemed to move along the line at various speeds. Like ants on a concrete path in summer, they followed one another on the line with no apparent destination, but with a great deal of effort.

 

There was one particular dot, not unlike countless others, that we shall call ‘Dot.’ Dot wondered one day, ‘Where am 
I going?’ Dot gave this considerable thought as the day progressed as he, like all the other dots, moved along the line. ‘Where am I going?’ was his only thought. As you might imagine, dots aren’t ordinarily capable of complex thinking. After he’d wracked his dot-mind with this question without finding even a scintilla of an answer, Dot garnered up his courage and said to the slightly larger dot in front of him on the line, “Excuse me, but do you know where we are going?”

 

Shocked by the audacity of this question, the slightly larger dot replied, “Well, I don’t really know for sure, but I’d have to guess we are going that way.” The slightly larger dot, being kindhearted, was frustrated that he couldn’t point the way, but as everyone knows, dots don’t have arms with which to point.

 

Dot thanked the slightly larger dot and considered the answer given. ‘That way?’ Dot thought to himself. ‘That way, well, 
I suppose this make sense. Because we must go, it seems to me one way or another, so that way seems good. I guess.”

 

As the days went by, Dot did his best to simply go along ‘that way.’ However, within his dot-mind, he was unsettled. Eventually, a question formed, ‘Why can’t we go the other way?’ he queried internally. ‘What’s wrong with the other way?’

 

Meanwhile, the line meandered up and down hills and valleys, passing through several small towns and one very large city. If one could see the line from a bird’s eye view, they’d see that the dots on the line were doing what dots do, moving along at their own pace along the line. Some dots moved at a breathless pace, frustrated when temporarily hindered in their progress along the line by a slower moving dot. Other dots found it better to move forward for a while and then they’d seek to find peace by returning to familiar territory along the line. And of course, there are always those dots who having discovered a place along the line that made them feel comfortable and took up permanent residency at that point refusing to move. Dots, it seems, are a lot like humans.

 

Back to our friend, Dot. Dot was growing increasingly unsettled by his unanswered questions. As he approached others along the line he was warned, “Just stay in line. That’s the safest thing to do! We go along, to get along!”  Another kindly suggested, “Dot, remember they don’t like it when you get out of line!” Other dots grew anxious hearing Dot’s questions, and said, “Get in line. That’s what we do. That’s who we are! Your job is to walk the line!” Still another reminded him, “The line is our friend. The line keeps us safe. I’ve heard of dots who got out of line, and things didn’t end well for them.”

 

Dot continued along the line, but his dot-mind was disturbed by the answers he was receiving. Dangerously, Dot began to consider what life might be like for him if he got out of line and went exploring. The more he thought about it, the greater his level of dissatisfaction with line-life became, and his desire to jump the line into the unknown grew insatiable.

 

As the line crested yet another rolling hill of farmland, Dot made his decision. ‘Today is the day!’ he declared inwardly. Dot immediately began to look for the right opportunity, impatiently seeking the precise moment when he would change his life for better or for worse and jump the line. 
‘I don’t care what happens,’ Dot acknowledged. ‘I just have to see what is beyond the line!”

 

As they were making an abrupt turn northward, Dot seized the moment and got out of line. His little dot-heart was beating wildly as he rolled away into the unknown. He heard the calls of dots on the line warning him and trying to get him back in line, but Dot bravely entered an entirely new world.

 

“This may not end well,” Dot smiled. “And I know that I’m way out of line, but I’ve got to set my own course.”

 

And so, friends, what do we gain from the story of the line and the dot? Allow me to suggest that there are times that getting out of line is precisely the right thing to do.

 

 

----------

 

“Stop imitating the ideals and opinions of the culture around you, 
but be inwardly transformed by the Holy Spirit through a total reformation of how you think. This will empower you to discern God’s will as you live a beautiful life, satisfying and perfect in his eyes.”

Romans 12:2 The Passion Translation

 

 

Gabby's Excess

 GABBY’S EXCESS

 

 

“Is creative inspiration a spiritual experience, the manifestation of the positive mission of man? The poet may be a great sinner and fall very low, but at the moment of poetic inspiration and in the kindling of the creative spark he rises above himself and the level to which he has fallen.” 

Nicolai Berdyaev

 

Waking in a haze, Gabby immediately had two thoughts, “where am I?” and “my head is killing me.” Stumbling to her feet, she searched out the bathroom in hopes that someone would have had the foresight to leave a bottle of aspirin in it.

 

“Thank God,” she mumbled as she dry swallowed four pills in hopes of swift relief from the pounding in her head. “Now, where am I?” As the haze of delirium began to clear, she recognized that she was in a hotel suite. “But what hotel? What city?”

 

The night before, Gabby had stood center stage at the sold-out Hollywood Bowl. A stage where so many greats had performed over the decades, she sensed the presence of some of them: The Beatles, Frank Sinatra, Ella Fitzgerald, Elton John, Pavarotti, and so many more – but tonight the name on the marquee that shined over Highland Avenue outside the bowl was hers – “In Concert – Gabby Gonzales.” For two and a half hours, she sang and danced, telling the occasional funny or insightful story and entertaining the 17,500 people who had been fortunate enough to snatch up tickets. Accompanied by her own band and backing vocalists, along with a portion of the Los Angeles Philharmonic Orchestra, she held the crowd mesmerized as she sang hit after hit.

 

Far above the Bowl, God smiled. “That’s my daughter,” He said proudly to the gathered angels, “Take care of her. I’m not done with her.”

 

The crowd screamed approval demanding yet another encore. This was a night Gabby would long remember.

 

Except for this horrible headache. “Oh, man, I drank too much,” she moaned in agony retching over the toilet bowl. “Last night I’m adored by thousands, this morning I’m puking my guts out in a toilet. How far I’ve fallen.”

 

Gabby found herself on her private jet by midday flying to a little island she’d recently purchased in the western Caribbean. “It was a good deal,” she teased her always worrisome financial manager. Feeling somewhat human again midflight, she looked forward to the serenity that she always found on her island.

 

The next morning, Gabby tossed on a bikini and took an early morning swim in the warm Caribbean waters. Reinvigorated, she made her way back to her mansion to enjoy a cup of fresh brewed coffee and a plate of fresh fruit. Finishing her meal, she poured herself a second cup, grabbed her notepad and entered her music room in search of her muse and to write new music. “I’ve so very much been looking forward to this,” she told her chief of staff as she was closing the door, “I am not to be disturbed for any reason.”

 

Sitting at her custom concert grand piano, she took a few deep breaths and a couple drinks of coffee and began the process of creativity. Within a few minutes, an idea for a love song emerged and she found the melody. Two hours later, with tears running down her face, she knew that something magical, something far larger than herself and something that would touch tens of millions deeply had been created. A song now existed that didn’t exist only moments ago.

 

And God smiled, “That’s my daughter. I’m so proud of her.”

 

Time after time, Gabby would tap into a mystical power of creativity that was utterly inexplicable. “It’s grace,” she’d explain, “that’s all I can say.”

 

And time after time, Gabby would also tap into the self-destructive patterns so often associated with the creative. Excessive spending, excessive gambling, excessive drugs and alcohol. And she’d spin out of control to the point that those people who were close enough to see it despaired for her very life.

 

But then, she step back into her music room or the recording studio, or the concert stage, and magic would happen. The media reported that her music continued to get better song after song and concert after concert. But they also began to report rumors of the underbelly of her life.

 

But God smiled. “That’s my daughter. I’m so proud of her.”

 

The inevitable storm for such a person as Gabby happened. The details aren’t important, but the consequences are. Coming to, she found herself strapped to a hospital bed. Crying out for help, the nurse on duty stepped into her private room. “Ms. Gonzales, I’m your nurse, the name is Rebecca. You are in the hospital and you nearly died. But you didn’t. And I’m going to see that you don’t, at least on my shift.”

 

Gabby’s eyes grew frightened as Rebecca filled her in on the gross details of her condition, and the extraordinary efforts made by the ER doctors to save her from dying. “Sister,” Rebecca said, “You are lucky to still be here.”

 

But God smiled, “She’s my girl. She’ll be alright.”

 

As Gabby began to come to terms with what had occurred, she realized what her problem was. “God,” she began. “I’m a mess.”

 

“I know,” He replied. “What do you want to do about it?”

 

“I want to live!”

 

“You will,” He assured. “You are my daughter, and I am proud of you. I am the one who gave you the gift of music, but you are taking the gift and twisting it. Give me the gift, and you will live, and you will make music like never before.”

 

She did, and she did.

 

“Two years ago, tonight,” Gabby said to the crowd, “I nearly died from my own excessiveness.”

 

God smiled, “That’s my girl!”

 

“But that’s because I didn’t know something. I didn’t know who I belonged to. God reached down and told me that he loved me and that I was his daughter. And I believed Him. So, dear friends, if it’s okay with you, I’ve got a lot more music in me and you are going to have Gabby Gonzalez around for many years to come.”

 

----------

 

“And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, 
will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day 
when Christ Jesus returns.” 
Philippians 1:6

 ELEVATED EDDIE

 

“It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest most uninteresting person you can talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship… There are no ordinary people.” C.S. Lewis

 

The soles of Eddie’s shoes never wore out. He could wear any pair of shoes for months with little or no wear on the soles. It didn’t matter if they were sneakers, flip-flops or hard-soled leather dress shoes, the soles remained unscuffed. Of course, he’d break an occasional shoestring, and the shoes grew dirty over time, but the soles kept their out-of-the-box condition.

 

The reason is that Eddie’s feet never quite touched the ground. He went through life with just a hint of air between the ground and his feet. For Eddie gravity didn’t have the same effect as is does on most others.

 

Eddie didn’t understand how unique this characteristic was until he entered middle school. 

 

Middle school is a wicked place where differences aren’t tolerated. Soon the self-appointed gurus of popularity at Eddie’s school dictated loudly that he was a misfit. Cruelly, and without cause they taunted and tormented him with the kind of public humiliations that only early adolescents can devise. This torture was simply because of the way in which he carried himself. Walking to his locker between classes, they called out in the unison of lemmings, “Elevated Eddie! Elevated Eddie!”

 

Ostracized and eliminated from the circles of power, Eddie was shocked that many of his longtime friends were literally turning their backs away from him pretending they’d didn’t know him. His heart broke under the pressure as the confusion grew as he sought to understand what he’d done wrong to deserve this hostile treatment. 

 

The one place that Eddie felt safe was within the confines of his family home. At home, nothing had changed. His parents who were busy in their careers, found time for him and his younger siblings around the nightly dinner table. 

 

“Eddie,” his mother asked, “help me set the dinner table, okay?”

 

As they prepared the table, she’d detected a disturbance within her first-born child, “Are you okay, son?” she asked.

 

Eddie quickly filled her in on the events of the day.

 

She nodded in understanding. Smiling, she said, “I have an idea! Do you trust me?”

 

He said, “Yeah, I guess,” in that wary tone of voice that only resides in the life of a thirteen-year-old boy.

 

“Good,” she replied, “Would you get the water glasses, please?”

 

The family had gathered, Eddie’s little sister Olive insisted on praying for the meal, and the business of dinner begun. Tonight’s dinner was like nearly any other in Eddie’s household. Stories about the events of the day had been told, laughter rang out on several occasions and a couple of times harsh words were exchanged amongst the siblings. There was nothing unique about this meal, events such as this were occurring in millions of other homes simultaneously.

 

As the meal was concluding, Eddie’s mother spoke up and briefly explained to the family what had happened to her eldest at school that day. Wrapping up her remarks, she queried her family, “So, what do you think?”

 

Olive quickly volunteered her learned six-year-old opinion, “Well, I think the people at that school are just stupid. You should just turn your back on them and ignore them. I hate stupid people!”

 

Eddie smiled at his baby sister’s reply. “Thanks, sis! I’ll think about that.”

 

“Well, they are! Stupid!” she insisted.

 

Eddie’s dad spoke up, “Maybe they are, Olive, but how does that help your brother?”

 

She frowned.

 

Bryon, the usually sulking middle child spoke up, “Whatever you do, Eddie, don’t screw things up for me! I’ll be there in two years. So, be cool. Don’t blow it for me.”

 

“Son, let me ask you a question,” his mother said. “Do you know why your feet don’t touch the ground? Because it is true, they don’t. But it is important that you understand why. Do you?”

 

“She’s right, Eddie,” his dad reiterated. “Knowing the reason will provide you with the answer as to how best to deal with the situation as school. Eddie, very few people experience the lift that you experience. And for your entire life, there will be those who will give you a hard time about it. Their reasons for doing so will be varied, some will be jealous, others just want you to fit into their mold, still others will be threatened because you are different. Regardless of that, you’ve got to learn how to handle the criticism and maintain your sense of dignity and worth. And, I guess now is the time for you to face this head on. So, like you mom asked, do you know why your feet don’t touch the ground?”

 

Later that night, he’d prayed for an answer to his parent’s question. Suddenly, he sat up in bed triumphant. He’d gotten his answer and with the answer came a game plan for tomorrow.

 

Excitedly, Eddie dressed and prepared for his return to the place of great shame. Today, he noticed, the distance between the ground and shoes seemed at little greater. As he arrived on campus, the taunting began. “Elevated Eddie! Elevated Eddie!” the little tyrant’s pubescent voices echoed through across the school.

 

Eddie stopped and turned to the voices of his accusers and simply smiled. 

 

Their taunts grew louder and more as more students joined in the frey. Eddie’s smile grew and his eyes glowed in joy. 

 

When Mr. Scales, the vice principle, stepped into the hallway, the taunts ceased immediately. That isn’t entirely true, for there is always in any given American middle school that one kid who is so enraptured in the taunting but is also utterly clueless to the presence of power. Of course, he continued his taunts until he felt the cold hands of Vice Principle Scales grab his shoulder, and which point he fell silent and left a noticeable dribble in his pants from the fear he experienced.

 

Eddie continued to smile. He savored the victory over the tinny voices of public opinion for the first time in his young life.

 

Explaining what had occurred, Eddie went on while chewing his pizza that night at the family dinner table., “They were calling me ‘Elevated Eddie’ thinking that was a slam or something. But what they didn’t know is that ‘Elevated Eddie’ is a complement! I am Elevated Eddie! And it is great! I love being Elevated Eddie!”

 

“Why is that, son?” his dad asked.

 

“I’m elevated because I know something they don’t,” he replied. “I know who I am. I am a child of God, and how could I be anything but elevated? Seriously!”

 

Byron piped in, “I’m okay with that, so long as you didn’t screw things up for me when I get there, Elevated Eddie.”

 

“If I be lifted up, I will draw all men unto myself.” Jesus (John 12:32)

 

“Therefore, holy brothers and sisters, who shall in the high calling, fix your thoughts on Jesus…” Hebrews 3:1

 

 Sarah with an “H”

 

“I would rather risk my heart to the possibility of pain, 

than to never feel love again. 

To live without love is merely existing. 

There is no greater pain than that.”

Anonymous

My life didn’t get off to the best start. Born two months premature in the Spring of 1991 to starry-eyed teenaged lovers and made fatherless by my first birthday because of the first Gulf War, I didn’t know just how badly the odds were stacked against me.

 

My name is Sarah Elizabeth MacKenzie. My mom called me SarahMac. I once had a theatre teacher in High School call me MacBeth. But I prefer Sarah - with an “h”.

 

“It’s you and me Sarah - but that’s enough, we will be just fine.” was the oft repeated encouraging word spoke by my ever-hopeful mother. No matter what happened in life, we had each other. Being widowed at such a young age, it’s remarkable all that she did for me. Even as a toddler, I knew that I could count on her to come through! Somehow, she managed, like millions of other single mothers, to work a full-time day job, rush home to feed me my dinner, help me with my homework and get me into bed, then out the door again to work as a cocktail waitress in a local bar. She didn't make time for men in her life, she was too busy caring for me.

 

Mom died when I was five, she was only 23. She had a rare form of leukemia. I don't remember this, but I'm told that it was fast acting and took her in just over a month. That was over 20 years ago and I can still hear her fighting to get those words out, even as her body was surrendering to that horrible disease. The tears come easy to me, even now. I was so alone. No father. No mother. All that I had was a pair of reluctant grandparents whose plans had been radically altered by the death of their daughter. My mother's last words to me were: “Sarah, it’s just you now - but that’s enough, you’ll be just fine!” 

 

I took to heart those words and have built my life on them. “It’s just me now - but that’s enough, I’ll be just fine.” It was too painful to love, to let people in, so I isolated, I withdrew. I adopted a ‘me against the world’ attitude. In retrospect, I can see that there were people who really did care about me and tried to reach me, but I couldn't risk losing again. The possibility of pain was too much, I knew that if I were to open myself to love another human, that they'd leave me, and I'd be shattered. Again.

 

I chose to excel at academics. From early in the morning to late in the night you'd find me in the books. It was what I did. The rewards for this were great, as was the price that I paid. I graduated number one in my High School without ever attending a football game, a sleep over, or a dance. Boys my age were intimated, which was perfectly fine with me. I was “On top” but completely alone. 

 

University was a breeze and completely funded with scholarships. But in my four years there I didn't establish one single friendship of importance. In fact, I had nine different roommates, with all but the last one requesting a room transfer. The whispers in the dorms were painful but I kept up a tough external appearance, all the time dying inside. I began to see that this was just the way things were going to be for me. After all, they say ‘it’s lonely at the top,’ so I just figured that was my lot in life.

 

And now, I’m working in my chosen field. Doing well, advancing. A good reputation. Making plenty of money. I am rewarded on all fronts for my expertise, my competence, my work ethic and ultimately for what I contribute to the bottom line. I'm frequently the first one to the office in the morning and the last one to leave in the evening. 

 

I’m great at what I do, but I’m not great at who I am. 

 

I am not ‘just fine’. I am miserable. Truthfully, I am lost, I am lonely, and I just can’t take it any longer. So, in preparation for what I must do, I’ve sat down to pen these words, so that hopefully someone will read what I’ve written and they’ll come to know how very lost, how completely lonely, how totally empty I felt. I wanted someone to know why I’m making this choice. I don’t want to be thought of as crazy or nuts, I just don’t see any other viable options.

 

I realize that you cannot know that I arrived early and stayed late at work because my apartment was empty. Sure, it was furnished, quite nicely in fact, but it was empty of that which makes a home: life, laughter and dare I say it - love. I heard you share your stories of weekend trips, romantic dinners, home improvement projects, vacations and family reunions. I didn’t begrudge you your joy, I just didn’t have any sense that I could ever possess what you have. I'd happily go to your weddings and then the inevitable baby showers that would follow, all the while celebrating what was happening for you, but unable to imagine it could ever happen for me. 

 

Over time the ache grew. It gnawed at me day after day and especially night after night. When I finally went ‘home’ at the end of the day it was to a barren place filled with constant reminders of the walls that I’d built between myself and all others. I was alone. No one got in. I was self-sufficient. I could handle it. I was enough. I was not enough. I couldn’t handle it. I was not okay.  Countless nights, I'd fall asleep on the couch with the TV blaring and dirty containers of takeout food on the table next to me. Weekends became interminably long periods of isolation and anxiety where I had but one goal – survive until Monday.

 

Sure, I took up hobbies. I began to run. Initially it was short runs around the neighborhood, but as my skills and body responded to the regimen of running, it wasn't all that long before I had become a rather accomplished marathon runner. All of my life I knew that I could accomplish whatever I set my mind upon. But running long miles across the country roads doesn't fulfill and leaves me feeling even more lonely. There have been times when I've fantasized about simply running away and never returning. But would I be missed? Would it make a difference if I was gone?

 

Finally, the inevitable crisis occurred. I came to see that something had to change. Something would change. And strangely enough, I wanted someone to know. When they asked with shocked tones: “Why did she do it?” for once in my life I wanted people to know something about me. Maybe it was too late, but better late than never, they say. I want people to understand a little about what makes Sarah with an 'h' tick.

 

I started this by saying: “My life didn’t get off to the best start,” and maybe this wasn’t the best ending either, but I simply could not think of another. All I knew for sure is that I couldn’t keep doing what I’d been doing. It was too hard... too dark... too painful. I was at my wits end. There are no more options. I didn’t want this, but what choice did I have? Really, what choice did I have? I only hoped I’m was doing the right thing.

 

Hope is an odd word. Odd because at the end of what little hope I possessed, I suddenly discovered that I was too much of a coward to do what I had planned. I'd made a plan, got the needed equipment and was ready to execute my choice. But it was at that point that ‘something’ or ‘someone’ intervened. Suddenly I remembered another message my long dead mother had given me. It had been forgotten, buried deep in my unconscious mind, something that in my pain and in my solitude, I had blocked and buried. But when I remembered, 
I knew it to be true. 

 

What came to my memory was the look on my dying mother’s face as she lay in her hospital bed. Her beautiful and unforgettable face was filled with two powerful things: absolute love for me and a knowing anguish that she would not be there for me. 

 

Oh, God, how could I have forgotten that look? How could my memories have been so clouded? 

 

Oh, God? Did I really just say that? God, are you there?

 

In my heartbreak of remembrance, I saw something for the first time ever, in the midst of my self-imposed darkness, a new light of truth appeared. It was the most important message she tried to give me, and I had missed it because of my pain! I was blind to what was right in front of me! And that message was this: She loved me without question, and with great sacrifice. In her deepest sorrow and pain, she still knew how to love. I then realized that I had never loved another human being like she had loved me! My pain, sorrow and grief caused me to selfishly dig deep foxholes of so-called protection around my heart. I had desperately tried to protect myself by going inward and all I did in the process, really, was hurt myself! Suddenly it became abundantly clear to me. I not only pushed people away from me, but I pushed me away from them!

 

What I could finally see was that my biggest problem wasn’t that I had lost so much, but that I’d had never chosen to risk loving another human being! I had never reached beyond myself to another, I never opened my heart to let another person in. Could I change? After being so self-sufficient, was I even able to love like my mother loved?  Did I even know where to start? Could I let another person in? It seemed like too much. I had lived this way for a long, long time.

 

One thing I knew for sure, was that I couldn’t keep going the way I’d been going.

 

So, what was my choice going to be? What was the decision that I reached? 

 

The pills had been carefully collected. I’d google researched to be confident that the goal could be easily reached. Everything was in order. Explanatory notes written, my Will placed in an obvious location. Even a list of passwords was provided to make it easy for whoever would finish what I’d left unfinished.

 

Calling off sick from work, I’d planned this day down to the last detail. Taking a long hot shower, followed by special attention to my hair and makeup and dressing in a favorite outfit. I filled the glass with water and opened the pill bottle. I was ready.

 

But then I heard a sound. A sound that took me back to my childhood. It was the sound of bells ringing from a nearby church. Suddenly I’m four-years-old again, sitting with mother in the little community church we’d attend infrequently and I’m hearing the preacher say, “Jesus loves you and He is there for you, no matter what you are going through.”

 

It’s been three years now since I heard those bells, but on that day, Love reached down and gave me the courage to look past myself and my pain and to make a conscious choice to love others. 

 

Since that day, so much has changed.  Slowly, and with great amounts of fear, I begin to open my heart to some key people, people that I felt that I could trust at some level. A couple of times, I got hurt by people who didn't respond well to my sharing, but I found that being hurt wasn't the end all experience that I had feared. Strangely, even the feelings of disappointment made me feel alive! I discovered that I had an inner strength, much like my mother must have faced after my father's death, to overcome the pain and press into life. In a relatively short amount of time, I found that I was far more alive than when I was protecting myself from the fear of being hurt. 

 

As I opened up, I was genuinely surprised by the response that 

came my way. People enjoyed what I shared. People appreciated my vulnerability. My heart began to be filled with life and joy as I allowed people in, really for the first time in my life. The very thing that I had feared the most became small and insignificant by comparison to what I was receiving in return. To say that I was shocked by this turn of events is an understatement.

 

There is so much more that I’d love to tell you, and I'm sure that I will in the future, but I've got to go. My husband needs some help with our baby.  

 

My name is Sarah - with an “h” for ‘hope-filled’!

 

Frodo Was Right

 

“How do you pick up the threads of an old life? 

How do you go on, when in your heart you begin to understand… there is no going back?”

Frodo Baggins – The Return of the King

 

 

Frodo was right to leave the Shire. 

 

In the concluding scene of J.R.R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings trilogy, Frodo Baggins, having saved Middle Earth, decides unexpectedly to leave all that is familiar to him to travel to the unknown land of the Havens. It was the right thing to do.

 

Before he joined the Fellowship of the Ring, he was just an average Hobbit happily living his life in the familiar comforts of the Shire. The Shire contained all that he needed: Friendship, family, history, celebration, work, music, dance - it was a good place to live. The arduous journey to Mount Doom to rid Middle Earth of the terror of the Ring, transformed Frodo. Transformed into someone far more than anyone, Frodo included, would ever have anticipated. Frodo became someone far larger than he’d ever been. And having been transformed, what used to be warm, familiar and comfortable was no longer enough. What used to satisfy, simply could not contain him. For his own sake, he had to press on for more. He had to leave the Shire.

 

And so too must we. Encountering Christ upsets all that is familiar, all that is comfortable. To meet Jesus is to be changed. Not simply a superficial alteration like losing a few pounds or quitting smoking, but a shift in DNA, a transformed perspective, a complete U-Turn of life purpose. Our previous understanding of what is important pales in comparison to the life Christ offers.

 

Henry Blackaby says, “You cannot stay the same, and go with God.” I used to think: “Well, yeah, I’ll stop doing this, and I’ll start doing that...” meaning that I’d give up some bad habits and pick up some new, better ones in order to please God. But

that isn’t even close to the heart of the matter. Frodo wasn’t changed in some superficial external manner, Frodo was changed at the very core of his being. All who encounter Jesus discover far more than we ever thought possible. 

 

We thought we were looking for a religion and what we find is a revolution. (You might want to reread that last sentence.)

 

And this is what Jesus intends when he declares, “you must be born again.” All of the old priorities, though good, pale by comparison. 

 

What was of value, somehow shifts – we see it differently through the eyes of Christ. Even precious relationships forged over time are altered and new relationships comprised of people longing for more of Jesus become vital, critical and irreplaceable.

 

Jesus says the strangest things like... “If you want to be my follower you must love me more than your own father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters--yes, more than your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple.”(Luke 14:24 NLT). The older King James version translates it as ‘hate your own father...’ which seems to be a contradiction to his message to love one another. But it isn’t. He is talking about priorities. He is so amazing. His call is for us to live in a new manner, a new kingdom, with new priorities that are so extraordinary! Our love for Him is so dynamic that our human relationships appear by comparison to be ‘hate’. This isn’t a call to hatred, it is a call to extraordinary love.

 

And this extraordinary love draws us to make a choice: Will I go with Him into new lands, new experiences, new revelations - or - will I stay in the Shire? Will I release that which has been good in favor of something that is precious? Will I cry the tears of saying ‘goodbye’ in order to experience the unknown ‘hellos’ of the kingdom of God? Am I able to walk out of the valley of comfort and familiarity to the mountains of challenge and newness?

 

Frodo saw the greater vista. He knew he could never be satisfied with what previously was his source of satisfaction. He had to leave the Shire. Frodo answered the call to live his life in an entirely new way.

 

Jesus speaks to us to live differently than most, to walk out of step with 99% of those who are around us: “Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow.” (Matthew 6:33-34a The Message).

 

In this new way of living, beauty unfolds. Majesty appears. Colors are brighter. Experiences occur beyond your wildest dreams. The impossible becomes possible, the ordinary takes on extraordinary meaning. Life becomes larger than before. Joy is normal.  Laughter is more frequent and with less restraint. Rules don’t much matter because relationship creates righteousness. Stress slips away. Tears flow, but without bitterness. Empathy builds. We walk in freedom and simply don’t need to control those around us because you are safe and confident.

 

It’s good that we don’t need to control others because there will be some who won’t be happy with our choices. They will try to hold us back. These aren’t bad people, but they cannot see what we see. They have never even considered leaving the comfort of the Shire. And they are threatened by the choices we are making, we are upsetting what is familiar and what is comfortable.

 

Sam, Merry and Pippin were broken-hearted by Frodo’s decision to leave the Shire. They stood on the dock, tears streaming down their faces as they watched their beloved Frodo sail away. As we follow Jesus into new territory, our hearts will break because sometimes we will have to leave people behind. People that we love. People that love us. People that have stood with us - even carried us - as we climbed our Mount Doom. Some of them will cling to us - “Don’t go! What’s wrong with things as they are?” they’ll plead. Others will judge, criticize and condemn us for rising up and seeking more - “Well, who does she think she is?”

 

This is the price. That I would give up the lesser - even though it kills me to do so - in order to gain the greater. 

 

Martyred missionary Jim Elliot said: 

“He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep 

in order to gain what he cannot lose.”

 

In my own journey, as I began to discover new things and to change as a result of such discovery, inevitably I sought to share this beauty with loved ones and church members. Some were excited and hungry for what I was describing. Some were uncomfortable and resistant. My change created a crisis, not just for myself, but for those who love me. This crisis upset the apple cart. Many walked away, disgusted: “This isn’t what I signed up for!”. Others liked where I was headed but weren’t willing to take the chance themselves. A few caught the vision and ran with it. One thing that I discovered is that when a loved one makes this change, it causes everyone around them to answer this question: “Do I value what is happening or is the price too high?”

 

God calls us all to a lifestyle of exploration and discovery. Change is normal for those who walk with Jesus. Regardless of the response of man, I must go with God. His calling trumps all other factors. Jesus offers ‘abundant life’ and we simply cannot get what He promises by doing life in the same old ways. We must not only be willing to die to self, but we must actually die to self. This isn’t a hypothetical idea, it is our destiny.

 

Frodo understood this with full clarity. He knew what he was giving up. He knew he’d never again sit with his lifelong friends in the pub drinking ale. He had danced his last dance under the Party tree in the Shire. Why make such a shift? Because what he saw through his new eyes of faith was utterly irresistible. It held a promise that was so amazing that he was willing to give up all that he knew and loved in favor of what might be.  Hebrews 11 tells us that “Faith assures us of things we expect and convinces us of the existence of things we cannot see...” And then later on reminds us that people of faith are…  “…longing for a better country - a heavenly country.” (Hebrews 11:1, 16 GWT).

 

The dynamic of a life-experience with Jesus draws us out from where we’ve been towards a land that we cannot quite see, but we intuitively know must exist. It is as if our true heart has finally found alignment with authentic hope and mandates that we step out of what we have known and have found comfort in and run towards what we do not know but we must find!

 

Once Frodo had the revelation, leaving the Shire was the only reasonable thing to do. Frodo was right to leave the Shire.

 

 Charlie Died

 

“The way you store up treasure in heaven 

is by investing in people getting there.”

Rick Warren

 

 

Charlie died. 

 

Hardly an unusual event, really. Everyone does, eventually. But for Charlie dying was a gift. Truly a release into something far greater than anything he’d experienced in his life on earth.

 

“What is that scent?” was his first thought upon entering the other side of death. “I can’t place it, but I really like it.” 

 

Looking around seeking to acquaint himself to this distinctly different environment, he couldn’t help but feel comfortable in his new environs. “What do I smell? I recognize it, but…”

 

“It’s love, Charlie,” said the Voice that he immediately recognized to be Jesus. “What you are smelling is love.”

 

“Love?”

 

“Yes, love”

 

“I didn’t know love had an aroma.”

 

“Of course, it does,” laughed Jesus. His laughter was the kind of laugh that invites you to join in rather than making you feel small. “Love is the greatest fragrance of all, Charlie.”

 

Charlie thought about this for a few moments, and his confusion began to clear. His life on earth had been a mix of good and bad, blessings and sorrow. Like most people, he’d celebrated positive moments and grieved in loss. He really couldn’t complain about how his life had played out. In fact, he’d freely acknowledge that he was more fortunate than most. He’d grown up in a home where his parents loved each other and their children. He and his siblings had fought – what siblings don’t? – but they’d also defended one another from foes large and small. As a young man, he’d found a young woman who loved him. Alice and Charlie had been married since the day they graduated from university and had spent 42 years in mostly wedded bliss. Sadly, they were unable to have children of their own, something which left a hole in both of their hearts. Regardless, on balance, Charlie would be quick to be grateful for such a good life. 

 

The heart attack came swiftly and decisively, only three months after he’d celebrated his 65^th birthday.

 

“Am I dead?” he asked with characteristic sincerity.

 

“In a manner of speaking,” Jesus said quietly, “yes. You died. Only moments ago. You had a massive heart attack and were dead before you hit the ground. Alice will find out in just a few moments and later the Doctors will tell her that it was a catastrophic myocardial event. So, to answer your question, Charlie, yes you died.”

 

“Interesting,” came his reply. “Interesting, because I don’t feel dead. Not that I really know what it would feel like to be dead, but I kind of thought it’d be different than this.”

 

“What did you think it’d be like?”

 

Charlie considered the question for a moment and replied, “More dead-like, I guess. I mean, uh… well, that’s a tough question. Hmmm… I suppose I thought I wouldn’t be conscious. And I am most certainly conscious, aren’t I?”

 

The Voice of Jesus was becoming clearer and taking on form. He smiled the most incredible smile Charlie had ever seen. Charlie gazed into his face racking his mind where he knew him from, and then it dawned upon him with whom he was talking.

 

Hesitatingly, he asked, “Jesus?”

 

“The very same.”

 

“Seriously?”

 

“Seriously.”

 

Shaking his head in wonder, Charlie began to grasp the gravity of this moment. “So, I’m dead?”

 

“More accurately, you died.”

 

“What’s the difference?” came Charlie’s honest and confused question.

 

“Well, Charlie,” Jesus said, “It is a matter of perspective. Let me help you, from a human, earth-centered point of view you are most certainly dead. One of your co-workers, a man named Andrew will be walking into your office in just a few minutes and will discover your dead body on the floor by the drafting table. And from the perspective of everyone on earth – you are dead.”

 

“Okay, makes sense to me. But what other perspective are you referring to?”

 

“Mine.”

 

“Yours.”

 

“Yes. And ultimately, my perspective is the one that matters. From my perspective, your body died, but you are most certainly alive. If that were not true, we could not be having this conversation.”

 

“Is this Heaven?”

 

“Nope. Not yet. There are still a few things that I need to do 

before that happens.”

 

“Hang on, this is all new to me. I need a moment.”

 

“Take all the time that you want.” Jesus said with the patience of one who understands that time is not an issue.

 

Charlie had always been a man who worked things out in his head through verbalization. Nothing had really changed in this characteristic. “So, I’ve died, but I’m not dead. And I’m here with you, Jesus, but this isn’t Heaven.” Pausing, he gave his understanding time to catch up with his thoughts and finally said, “Have I got this right?”

 

“Uh-huh.” Jesus acknowledged. “You got it.”

 

“I have another question.”

 

“I’m not surprised.”

 

Charlie smiled at Jesus’ reply. “No, I guess you wouldn’t be! 

Well, here it is: If this isn’t Heaven, where, exactly am I? 
I mean, it can’t be hell, because you are here.”

 

There was something about the way Charlie had said that which got Jesus to laughing. And Jesus’ laughter is contagious, soon Charlie found himself laughing along – although he wasn’t sure what was so funny.

 

“Sorry, Charlie.” Jesus said when he calmed down, “It was just the way that you said, ‘It can’t be hell, because you are here.’ that made me laugh. And you are correct, this is definitely not Hell.”

 

“Then,” Charlie asked again, “Where precisely am I?”

 

Jesus’ expression became extremely sober, “Charlie, it’s obvious where you are – you are with me.”

 

It was as if the lights of a thousand laser lights turned on in that instant, so powerful was this revelation. “I am with you.” Charlie repeated.

 

“Yes, you are.”

 

“That’s amazing.”

 

“Yes, it is.”

 

“That is the goal, isn’t it?” Charlie asked. Before Jesus could respond, Charlie interrupted and said, “Of course it is. It’s always been about that. Me, connected to you. Everything else was just noise, wasn’t it?”

 

“Charlie, as I am one with the Father and the Spirit, you are to be one with us. I have loved you before the foundation of the world. This moment has always been my goal. That’s why I say to you, you have died but you are not dead. Life as you knew it is over, but life has only just begun. And believe me, you are going to like it – a lot!”

 

Charlie hesitated. Jesus didn’t miss it and asked, “What is it, Charlie? What’s bothering you?”

 

“Alice,” He admitted. “What about Alice?”

 

They’d love one another for as long as they could remember and had shared everything life could bring their way. They’d danced and they’d held each other with the intensity of young lovers. They’d dreamed and explored. They’d wept and grieved. Best friends before becoming lovers they’d truly been 

one in marriage. And now, Alice would be forced to take on 

life alone.

 

“Alice,” Jesus said fondly. “I love her so very much. She is so amazing.”

 

“But she’s going to be so sad. Her heart will be broken.”

 

“True.”

 

“I need to go back, Jesus. I need to take care of her.” Charlie nearly begged.

 

‘No, Charlie. It doesn’t work that way,” Jesus said with great certainty. “Before you say anything else, let me show you something.”

 

Suddenly Charlie could see Alice as she stood in their kitchen making her famous lemon bars. They’d planned to go to their dear friends John and Melinda’s for dinner that night, and she’d told him early that morning that she’d be bringing lemon bars for dessert. He heard her mobile phone ring. He recognized it immediately as her phone because she’d had the Beatles song “Love, love me do” as her ringtone. Reaching into her back pocket, Alice answered the call. Moments later her skin went pale as she received the news of his death. The phone clattered to the floor as she leaned heavily against the granite topped kitchen island in shock. 

 

Jesus spoke, “I am with her.”

 

Their eyes locked on one another with the sobriety of what Jesus had just said.

 

The next scene was at the funeral service. Hundreds of people from all walks of life were gathered around his casket, but the only person that Charlie could make out was his beloved Alice. Dressed in a favorite black dress, she stood tall and composed.

 

Jesus spoke, “My grace is enough.”

 

Sitting alone in their favorite little coffee shop, Alice sipped her coffee while reading her pocket Bible.

 

“My word abides in her.”

 

Walking the dog which Charlie had insisted they purchase five years prior, Alice kept pace with the black Labrador. Charlie could see the tears flowing down her face.

 

“The Comforter will wipe those tears, Charlie.”

 

Forwarding several years, a noticeably older Alice was dining with a handsome man. They were laughing and enjoying each other’s company.

 

“I know her needs.”

 

Charlie thought long and hard about what he’d just witnessed and said, while turning to face Jesus, “You’ve been there all along, haven’t you?”

 

“I have.”

 

“And you’ll continue, won’t you?”

 

“I will.”

 

Nodding his head in understanding, Charlie said softly, “Okay then. I get it. She’s yours.”

 

“Yes, she is.”

 

“So,” Charlie said thoughtfully, “now what?”

 

“What was the first thing you noticed when you got here?”

 

“The smell. You told me that it is the aroma of love.” Charlie replied.

 

“Yes, it is. Charlie, you’ve entered a new season of your life. And this one is permanent! The old had gone. It is finished. Done. The new has come. It’s only just beginning for you.”

 

Charlie thought about what he’d just heard and experienced and said hopefully, “I like it so far!” 

 

“Let me tell you what you shouldn’t expect,” Jesus said and paused awaiting Charlie’s understanding.

 

“What I shouldn’t expect?”

 

“Right. Here’s what you should not expect to happen here with Me. None of this will happen here. Are you ready?”

 

“Yes!”

 

“Okay, don’t expect sorrow. There won’t be any. Don’t expect tears. That’s over and done with. Disease and illnesses are forever eliminated in my presence. So too is disappointment, broken relationships, misunderstandings, prejudices, anger and sorrow. Done. Finished. Complete.”

 

“Wow!”

 

“Oh, and something else you won’t ever have to deal with again: Death.” Jesus said excitedly. “Death has been destroyed. We don’t do death in my Kingdom!”

 

“No death?”

 

“Nope. Zero. Zilch. Nada. No death.” Jesus was exuberant as 

he spoke these powerful words. “What’s so weird to me is how little of my Good News message is really understood by my people on earth.”

 

“How’s that?”

 

“Do you know what my purpose in coming to earth was?” Jesus asked. Not waiting he continued, “It was to give life. True life. Abundant life. Life like I have life. Life filled with joy, with freedom, with passion!”

 

“But I thought you came to show people our depravity and sin and to convict us about it.” Charlie said with confusion.

 

“All of that is a means to an end.” Jesus explained. “My goal is to get people to the point where they simply embraced Me by faith and as a result are empowered to live truly amazing lives! None of that ridiculous religious nonsense, just freedom powered by love.”

 

“I see that now.”

 

“All of this stems from love. As my Father loves me. As I love my Father. So too shall you be loved – and that is what you smell.”

 

“It smells amazing.”

 

“It does, doesn’t it?”

 

Charlie suddenly realized that his death was the doorway to life. “I’m becoming a big fan of this place!”

 

Jesus smiled.